Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
