she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
