What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
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