She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
