Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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