no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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