I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
