Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
