he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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