That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
