If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
