He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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