Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I think your dad took our porno
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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