Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
my poor anus
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
