I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I need to stop coming to work sober
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
