oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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