Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
