i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
