the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
