we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
