Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
