Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
