its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
