Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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