He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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