ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Can I color on your dick again?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
