i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
