I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
worst night to have a conscience
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm at about main and main street
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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