I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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