I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im holly from the hills drunk
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
