We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
