Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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