You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong