I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
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He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
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i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.