How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.