White coat. Heels.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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