just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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