Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
They are going to name an STD after you.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
