I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
