Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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