You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
