I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
