My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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