I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
