Rock
Scissors
Fuck
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
