My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
All the doctor said was why
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.