You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
