I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
