I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
