somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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