If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
