Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
