We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
