what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
