Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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