All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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