I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
