i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize