so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
