I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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