i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
