her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
And then he peed in my hair
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
