when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
