holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She told me I should be a condom model.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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