More tranny stories later!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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