Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
God, I missed his penis.
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