Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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