she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
